Do Women Have an Expiration Date?

Recently, I watched a Japanese Drama called Love and Fortune (Koi no Tsuki). I’ll be briefly outlining the plot, but only so I can emphasize the things I took away from the drama. I identified with a lot that that the main lead went through in the story, and it made me think a lot about my own life and my romances.

The story is about a 30-year-old woman called Wako Taira, who is in a relationship with a man called Fuuta Aoi. They’ve been in a relationship for four years and have lived together for three. Unfortunately, Wako has started to become frustrated with him. He only makes enough every month to pay rent and to buy food. Wako herself works part-time at the cinema and doesn’t earn much, either.

They spend their time at work, have dinner together, make love, and then sleep. The next day is the same, and then the next, ad infinitum. Fuuta isn’t ready to ask Wako to marry him because he doesn’t have enough money to raise children. Meanwhile, Wako is feeling societal pressure to get married because of her age. As time flies by, she eventually falls in love with a high school student called Yumeaki Iko; she has an affair with him. She’s has a dilemma; she loves Iko very much, but feels that Fuuta is the safe choice. She fears that she wouldn’t be able to find someone else her age if things went wrong with Iko. The whole story revolves around the idea that whatever decision she makes, she will get the consequences. Later, Wako also tries to get a proper job in a company, but is turned down many times because - once again - ‘her age’.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, women have an expiration date, for sure! If you are an adult woman, and your age enters your thirties, your chance of getting pregnant is less than 50%. Your chance to find a guy to date is also getting smaller, and it also becomes harder to get a new job. History and science have proven that women are less desirable once they hit their thirties.

It’s always been a fear for me as well. I’m scared that I won’t get married before I turn 30, and that I wouldn’t have a good career by that age, and so on. From this show, I learned that I shouldn’t waste my time just doing my ‘boring’ every day activities because time flies so fast. Without realizing it, we are already old. If I were Wako, I would regret not having done anything meaningful in my 20’s. If you aren’t careful, your life will be over before it has begun, and you will feel that it’s ‘already too late’ to begin a new thing.

However, the ending was satisfying; both main characters split, grew, and found their purpose individually. They later found each other again, and fulfilled their dreams together. In this story, marriage isn’t everything, having a kid isn’t so important either; only your happiness is. There’s no point getting married to the wrong guy and living a miserable life, or even trying to raise a kid when your financial situation is messy. I feel sorry for the children that go through a hard life just because their parent wasn’t ready for that.

Wait a minute, you also have to consider your family and your society as well. When you choose to fight for your own happiness, a lot of folks following the mainstream will view you harshly. You will receive daily questions and comments like, “when will you get married?”; “why hasn’t he proposed to you yet?”; “nobody will take care of you if you don’t have kids”; “you shouldn’t just earn money without starting a family”; and blah blah blah… Whilst it would be great for your family to support your decisions and not pushing those kinds of things, it’s sadly just not the reality.

Let me tell you my own story. Right now, I’m still 26 years old, but unfortunately in my society here in Bali, I’m considered OLD, and will be undesirable soon. My uncle once told me that I have to get married ASAP or I won’t be able to do that once I enter my thirties. His daughter, who is younger than me, is already a wife and had a child. His daughter has the stereotypical ‘perfect life’, I think. He also suggested to me to marry a local Balinese guy; right now I’m dating a foreigner. I just said to him, I have my own goals and ambitions. Life isn’t just about getting married, having kids, and then dying. I want to embrace my life and make it meaningful.

I don’t want to bury my dreams just to follow the normal things in society. Everyone lives and achieves things in their own time, at their own pace. We are not in a running race, are we?

This train of thought also raises a natural question; what can we do as women to not be considered ‘expired’ by our thirties? For me, this boils down to having good habits and living a good lifestyle. Exercise, workouts, skincare products, sleeping time, and what we eat all matter. South Korea has a culture that values many of those things for women, and, many of their actresses look much younger than their real age! Maintain your body and soul, avoid stress, and implement a healthy life, and you might be able to ‘remain young’ regardless of your real years.

Regardless of what society things, I believe that as women, we still shine regardless of our age. Nevertheless, please take care of your mental health and you body; leave toxic people and environments. There are a lot of things that we can do than just waiting for our ‘expiry date’. Soon, you will find the right partner, or you will get a beautiful career, or you will achieve whatever it is you want from life, and you will live your goals! Let’s be empowered women, with vision and grace!

• Shina